The Perfection
of Stillness
The show
begins with Jane describing that today’s topic came about as a result of Carole
and Jane’s need to take a week off from airing, and the subsequent realization
of the rightness, in doing so, of honoring a need for stillness as a part of
our divine design.
Jane
references Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s book, What We Ache For, and points us to her chapter on “A Necessary Silence.”
She reads us a beautiful quote that captures the need, as well as the challenge,
of embracing stillness as an important aspect of our lives. The author
identifies stillness as the “place” from which our creativity flows. She goes
on to point out, however, that this reality tends to be little acknowledged by
our culture, which equates our success in life with “doing” rather than
“being.” She then tells us that we may
also find it challenging to pursue stillness, in that we may find that it is elusive
and ultimately not something that is in our control.
Throughout
today’s talk this “being out of control” aspect of stillness is discussed, one
very important aspect of which is that we often find ourselves thrown into a
state of anxiety or fear over anything we feel we can’t control. Carole then
speaks of the need for us to develop a comfort zone that allows us to relax
into what really amounts to “giving it over to God” and letting Him take care
of things. She points out some of the many systems, including vast universal
forces (such as gravity), and also many our own body systems (including the
breath), which operate continuously and completely outside of our control to
maintain life and to keep us in a state of wellness and balance.
The breath
is acknowledged as an important portal into stillness. Jane emphasizes how even
the seemingly simple act of beginning to use the breath as a way to relax and
access stillness can create great fear, anxiety and resistance. She tells the
story of a woman in one of her movement classes who’s doctor told her she
“didn’t know how to breathe” and who comes, through simple exercises, to
discover and to relax into her ability to do so very effectively!
Carole
speaks of the importance of the idea of “practicing” in that all of our lives
we have simply practiced new life skills and experiences in a natural and
relaxed process that leads us into comfort and competence. We get to practice
life in the womb and to become comfortable with the experience that all our
needs will be met. As babies we get to practice crying and the discovery that
we will be comforted. We practice walking and soon find we can do it without
falling down. We practice, and as we learn that we can rely on our expectations
of the experience, we become increasingly comfortable with the process.
In
approaching calm and stillness it is very important that we “practice”
breathing. Breathing may be considered the “back door” into calming ourselves
down in that it is impossible to breathe deeply and still remain in a fight or
flight mode. When we practice shifting
energy gears and breathing in a slow, easy, relaxed manner it tells our
sympathetic nervous system that everything is all right. It also calls up our
cellular memories of other experiences of calm that we have had in our lives so
that we can “lean into” these experiences and deepen our state of relaxation
still further.
Carole
points out that we are all well-practiced with being anxious and fearful and of
trying to tend to a To-Do list that is overwhelming. She lovingly invites us to
learn to experience stillness by practicing, and we can begin with various
simple tools and exercises, many of which she presents to us here.
As a prelude
to working with the actual exercises Carole emphasizes that working with these
tools (shifting the energy) requires a level of focus that cannot be attained
in a chaotic or cluttered mental or physical space. She therefore recommends
giving the show our full attention so that it is not considered just one
element of a multi-tasking conglomeration of experience (such as listening to
the show while driving a car), but rather that it be the primary focus of the
moment as it is experienced. She also recommends that an uncluttered and
hopefully appealing physical space be created for this work, and emphasizes
that this can be as simple as unfolding a TV tray which is kept readily
available for the purpose. Once the physical and mental clutter is cleared, the
tools and exercises can be approached.
Exercise 1. FULL CUP vs. EMPTY CUP
Open a pad
with a blank left and right page laid side-by-side. On each page draw a cup.
Now, focus on your left-hand cup and FILL it with the stuff that, in fact,
fills your life to over-flowing (e.g. dirty dishes, crying children, over-grown
lawn, all the items on your never-ending To-Do list, etc). Also fill it with
all the things you feel guilty about and that keep your mind spinning on a
“gerbil wheel” (things you did and wish you hadn’t, things you didn’t do and
wish you had, etc.)
Notice how
it feels as you fill this cup. Take note of your breathing and of muscle
tension in your body. How does your stomach feel? Scan your entire body and
witness your own physical response to your overflowing cup.
Now turn
your attention to the cup on the right. This cup IS TO REMAIN EMPTY! Really
focus on this empty cup. Take careful note: it is empty of worry, empty of
stress, empty of guilt, empty of the be-jillion things you think you are
responsible for. How does staying in the energy space of this cup make you
feel? Tune into your body and listen to its messages.
More
thoughts about the full cup/empty cup exercise:
Carole draws
an analogy to the full cup, likening it to a child with a loose tooth that she
is incessantly wiggling with her tongue. Behaviorists have shown that, as
inconsequential as it may seem, the distraction of a loose tooth actually keeps
a child from focusing and learning effectively.
Carole also points out that the full cup can,
as a part of it’s content, hold many positive items such as happy memories or
anticipated future events. That does not, however, change the fact that the cup
is full, which holds us distracted and “stuck in our heads.” We are often stuck
in the past or the future, which distracts us from “now,” and our moment of
“empty cup now” is the portal we seek into stillness and calm.
One possible
aspect of this exercise is, after filling our cup and understanding the
implications of that fullness, to turn the page over, or even of tearing the
page up (!), thus symbolically eliminating all the anxiety it evokes, and then
focusing consciously on cultivating our empty cup. Also, for those who need a
more moderate approach, another possibility is to only turn the full cup
depiction over for set and limited periods of scheduled time and then “worrying
your brains out,” but only until “time’s up!” and you turn the page over again
and go back to your empty cup!
Empty cup
time is meant to refresh us, and from this place we can move on to other tools
and ideas. The empty cup exercise helps us to move into “clear space” and away
from clutter, stress, and overwhelm. Carole now introduces us to another tool
in the form of a Hawaiian Blessing that is another helpful way to clear energy.
It might be used, for instance, in a mental or other hospital, clearing the
energy in a room before a new patient occupies it. Or it might be used by a
speaker who enters an empty auditorium to clear it of the energy of all that
has gone on there previously. We might also use this blessing to clear energy
in a “sticky relationship” or even to clear energy around aspects of ourselves
and around difficult aspects of our life history (difficult story pieces).
Clearing Energy in this way can bring us to a clean, fresh place with no past
and no future. This is a place and a moment full of possibility!
Here is the
Blessing in its 4 aspects:
1. I apologize.
(Heaven apologizes, there is apology in creation, there is the desire that you
feel solaced, apology flows through me…)
2. Please
forgive me. (There is forgiveness, I am a part of the flow of forgiveness, I am
a part of the circle of being forgiven, part of the outpouring of forgiving
that is clearing and cleaning everything in its path.)
3. I love
you. (Creation loves you, I am a part of love and love flows toward me through
me, the circle of loving is infinite and forever)
4. Thank
you. (as creation is grateful for me and my heart returns the gratitude.)
Now we are
in a place of simply being a part of the reality of blessing! And in this clear
space of feeling blessed and able to have an experience with our divine design
Carole tells a wonderful, life affirming story from her own experience that
also serves as a prelude to the next exercise.
She shares
that in the early years of her husband’s work as district librarian of their
community, there was a dirt parking lot associated with one of the libraries.
It would tend to get muddy and cars would get stuck in it and thus it was
highly impractical and inconvenient. The wonder of that space, however, was
that it was entirely covered with a field of delicate violets. Carole was
saddened, but knew that it was necessary to pave the area; to bring in heavy
equipment, dig a foundation and lay down concrete to create a “proper” parking
lot.
But THEN,
she says, an amazing thing happened. In a year’s time (she tells this story
with lots of “I swear” and “Honest to gosh-es etc) the vines pushed up and
busted that concrete into GRAVEL.
And so this
profound demonstration of the life-force of these delicate-looking flowers is a
story we can hold in our hearts. It is a story of the pushing up against
impossible odds and this sort of strength is, in fact, an aspect that is built
into our divine designs
Exercise 2. The Power within Violets, The Power Within
Us
Open up
another blank 2-page spread. Think about yourself and the pavement of your
life. On each page draw a squiggly figure representing yourself with a line of
“pavement” running across the page just above “you”. On the left page of paper,
just above the “pavement” write two phrases spanning the page: “No, you can’t,”
and “What I came to believe I couldn’t do.” You may, if you choose (this page
is ultimately NOT to be your focus), draw and write in details from your life
that have presented you with this negative reality. Give some attention to how
this page makes you feel in your body. This will give you some indication of
how, in your life, your body and your energy react to a LIE. This is pure
distortion. You can do with this page as you wish once it has shown you the
fallacy of your “limitations.” You may turn it over, or better yet you may
choose to TEAR IT UP.
Now, on the
right-hand page, just above the pavement line write the two phrases: “Oh
Yeah?!” and “Evidences to the Contrary,” You may choose to draw your stick
figure self with hands on hips and “get a little attitude going!” Now go for it: draw and write all the
affirming things you’ve done and confirming experiences you have had! This
list, of course, will go on and on and can use as much paper as you need to get
the job done! You can refer to this page whenever and as often as you need, of course,
But it is important to know that all the affirming truths about yourself that
you just wrote down are also carried in your memory banks for you to call up at
any time, AND they are stored within your very body at the cellular level.
Jane
contributes a variation to this exercise (taken from the work of Martha Beck)
pointing out that during times when our confidence in ourselves is particularly
lacking and we might find it hard to acknowledge and write down our own
positive qualities, it can be helpful to call on a group of trusted friends and
to ask them to provide you with affirmations about yourself that they have
gleaned through their relationship with you. These qualities can stand-alone
but can also “prime the pump” of your
own recognition of even more of your positive attributes and all should be
added to your “Evidences to the Contrary” page.
As we come
more and more into clear space Carole encourages us to keep a journal to fill
with the stuff that enriches our souls; references for books, stories, poems,
quotes, exercises (such as those presented here), drawings, etc etc . She
offers us several quotes to inspire us as we come into the place of “I am an achiever” as evidenced by the
outcome of our work in the previous exercise, The Power of Violets. Here are
the quotes:
1. “Make a
beginning and all will come right. Intention brings attainment” ~’Abdu’l-Baha,
The Baha’i Writings
2. Whatever
you can do, or dream you can’t, begin it! Boldness has genius, power, and magic
within it.” ~John Wolfgang Goethe
3. “Be the
Change you wish to see” ~Ghandi
Carole
encourages us to be our own role model and to attune to let the energy of our
own divine design inspire and direct us!
At this
point Carole recommends the book, The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women,
by Gail McMeekin as an inspirational example of the stories and experiences of
women who have followed their dreams and shaped their lives according to their
divine designs. If they can do it we can too, and the book offers many tips and
ideas to help us on our journey!
Exercise 3. Fertile Quotes
One possibility to explore when including
quotes in your journaling is to start with and write down thought-provoking,
inspirational quotes, or even simple phrases, and then to use these as a
stepping-off place for the addition of your own thoughts, feelings, and
experiences that bubble up as you consider the quote. Carole provides a few
brief quotations from the Baha’i Writings to get us started on this rich and
fertile journey of self-exploration:
1. Enthusiasm
is courage…
2. A face
wreathed in smiles…
3.They that
see with their own eyes and not through the eyes of others…
4. The
ability to carry a task, once begun, to completion….
Carole ends
today’s show, most appropriately with the Hawaiian Blessing:
I apologize
Please
forgive me
I love you
Thank you
Amazon
references to books mentioned in today’s show:
What We Ache For, by Oriah Mountain Dreamer http://www.amazon.com/What-We-Ache-Creativity-Unfolding/dp/0060011963/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1403392310&sr=1-1&keywords=what+we+ache+for
The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, by Gail
McMeekin http://www.amazon.com/The-Secrets-Highly-Creative-Women/dp/157324533X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1403495553&sr=8-1&keywords=the+12+steps+of+highly+Creative+women
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